Friday, November 28, 2014

So its been nearly 3 years since I last posted on here! Crazy how time flies. I'm currently saving up money to go to Croatia, and that is going... so so. It will be alright though, I have faith.

Another thing is is I have made over the past 3 years 3 different ways of tying tie knots: The Agape Knot, the Truelove Knot, and the Ellie Knot. And the Agae and Truelove knots were mentioned in a skit by Rocket Jump Animation called "Tie Fighters" featuring JIMMY KIMMEL! Its crazy to see this wierd little slice of tiny fame I've had from my knots result in something like this! I am certainly humbled by it.

So if you are viewing this know that I love you all and I'll try and get back here more often as the months go by!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Hillshire Farm Free Samples Server Interaction

 I love Costco and all their free samples, but I especially love interacting with the variety of sample servers. I go up to a middle aged sample lady who was giving out deli meat and ask her what it is, so she replies: "Turkey Breast". 

So I say: "From whom?"

Her: "Hillshire Farm."

Me: "Go meat."

Her: "What?"

Me: "That's the slogan."

Her: "I never heard that before."

Me: "When I say Hillshire you say farm: Hillshire-"




"Its on the commercial."

"Like on TV?"


"Oh, I don't watch TV..."

"Well... the joke is lost now. You have yourself a nice day!"

"Um...... You too."

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Feelings: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Few things make you feel better then an excellent movie, a chiropractic adjustment, or a liberating bowel movement. That being said few things make you stress out more then being at a rich clients house for a painting job, clogging up their toilet, and then not being able to find a plunger.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

My right before bedtime nonsensicle, horibbly mispelled Charlie Sheen rant. Read if you wanna laugh at me.

This was a note i wrote on facebook:

i AM aBSOTIVELY pOSALUTELY EXHAUSTED. Cap, craps lock was on! Now I'm constipated *kidding..or am i? O_o* hahaha But srsly: today was exhausting. 9:40 PM bed time? this morning i woulda said "preposterous! thats like mid day for me!" right now i say "It is very wise, and much needed"". I'm speaking nonsensical nonsense, not that my normal nonsense is sensical or even if sensical is a word but yeah. If a hot chick at a club ever said "in your dreams!" I'd say: "you betcha!" then proceed to fall asleep wherever i was. Across 3 barstools, on top of the bar, crowd surf and have a 5 second nap, right on a clubs dance floor, wherever. That would probably be my selective narcolepsy kicking in though. Okay i really need sleep before i start hearing colors and seeing sounds from sleep deprivation. GZoodnight peoples... oh look i already put a z in goodnight, thats how ready i am to type out zzzZZZ! Crap... now i'm thinking about a question ive always wondered: why the HECK are Z's used to represent sleep anyways? It can't be the sound, unless everyone snores like a bee or a power transformer. And by power transformer I mean those electric coil dealieos used to electrify your home and not a super boss alien robot car thing; although if they did have a need for sleep they probably might snore like that and probably could power your home using there energon core made from (according to michael bays team of INCREDIBLE writers *sarcasm*) harvested suns and stars. Oh don't ive me that "there the same thing" speech,you know what i mean. What was i talking about? Oh yeah: Z's... wow, looking at it i just realized a Z looks like an underlined 7 if your really look at it. 7 plus _ = 7_ Now move those closer and you get: Z! Yeesh... what a rant. Goodnight you awesome person you who actaully read this. If you did say: I love Spyglass. Random i know its on my wall and its the first thing i saw and i was reminded of steve carrels bit in Anchorman where he starts naming objects and preceding them with "I love:" to be part of the conversation. That wasnt funny but that was my idiotic and crazy thought process. I almost wish i did this rant in a video, maybe i can be as famous as Charlie Sheen. In fact thats what i will call this rant: My Charlie Sheen Rant. But alas, I shall sleep. Goodnight interwebs, if you're sexy and you know it clap your hands. *holds up applause sign to live audience*. I will now tag random people Ive known forever, just met, or have met only once. the last 2 i probly kno barely anything about, we'll see who gets randomly picked. It might be a little more planned then random but thats ok. Thats how i roll. I roll like a fruit roll up. I roll better then a bread aisle. I put a little rock in my roll, then bite down and break my teef. Nigh-ee nigh my fwiends.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I almost wish i could have my facebook status's go immediately to my blog because i come up with some funny suff sometimes. I need something though... something to work on. Whether it be art, a font, a logo, a tutorial, something. Give me ideas ppl.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Its about time!

Haven't done one in a month and a half.... So I have a couple of thoughts been banging around in my head and on my FB page to fill the void. Here are some of them:

I have a way with words. I'm not sure if its a wayward way with words but it is certainly way more wordy then others ways.

I've been told that alcohol only makes me act more "Eliot" if that makes any kind of sense. By that logic if i were to imbibe too much and get intoxicated then Mitosis would occur; generating "more Eliot" i.e copies of every cell within my body resulting in the inevitable and exact duplicate of Me. Terrifying. This truely is a horrifying outcome. The world can only tolerate one Eliot Truelove; sheer madness would result otherwise. Limits are there for a sanity-preserving reason.

As I go forward in age it is interesting to note that I am going backwards in time with my wardrobe. When I was 10 my wardrobe was hand me downs from the late 80's and now I lool like something out of the gangster era. By this rate I will be a Knight at 35 and a Viking by 50. Sweeeet.

>Somebody commented: "And a Caveman by 80! :P" on my FB and it made me laugh.

I woke with a sore throat but no joint ache. I went to bed thinking I would have both, maybe there's something to this pessimism thing: being pleasantly surprised when the worst doesn't happen. On the optimistic side: I can now sing the opening to "Down with the Sickness" quite masterfully.

If live gives you melons; make melonade. When life gives you lymes: grab some coronas, sit back, and relax because thiers nothing you can do about it. That's my motto.

This was just a sampling showing that i have an odd yet oddly intriguing kind of humor. For the ones that don't like it: So sue me. Thats an asian law firm by the way.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Whats up with the Cali time?

Not so much of a post as an: I wonder why... Why are my posts times off? It says i posted my previous posts at 11:01PM and 11:03PM respectively on Septemer 14th when i posted them at about 2:01AM and 2:03AM on September 15th. Why am i up you might ask? Yeah yeah i know it is what it is; because of my biking posts material is why i'm up; i can't sleep because i'm still pumped. Blogspot must be on Cali time as a default because i forgot to put my address in my profile. I wonder if it'll work for this now that i added that info? hmmmm..... lets see. I'll comment if it does or doesnt.

Edit as of 2:42 AM: I changed the time zone. I'm an idiot; but you already knew that.